Not a Good Day

Sometimes I don't know if I can take it any more...Today was one of those days. When I came to Mom's, the door was almost shut....Someone was taking her to the bathroom. I could hear her protesting when I went by. I waited in the dining room for awhile, wondering how one person could handle taking her to the bathroom. I decided to go check. Oh my...the gal was having a time. I helped...Mom hit me, twisted my fingers...I KNOW she could have broken them! She is STRONG for such a skinny little woman. She was bound & determined that she was going to walk. She is agitated today.... I thought maybe she didn't know who I was. But then she started to say Laraine after I took her to the dining room. I took her pic with my cell phone....motioning for her to smile. She did. I showed it to her. "Is that ME?" "Laraine, don't tease me."

I hate that Mom has to be in a nursing home. I hate that she has memory problems. I hate that she can't hear. I hate that she can't walk. I hate that she is stuck there till she dies cause I can't take her out of there. I hate that she'll never be able to come to my house again. Okay...that's pretty bad. I better think about what's good. If she has to be in a nursing home, it's good that she can't remember. It's great that she's in Austin and close to where I live....those 9 months in Blooming Prairie, now that was bad. It's wonderful that she accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord & Savior before all of this. I need to write about that another day.

It's hard........it's hard.....it's so very hard......BUT...God will help me.