I think....

....that I cannot take it anymore. I have no other choice....I must. No one knows the pain....the hurt. God knows & He will give me strength to endure to the end. She took my hand today and held it. (Yesterday, she slapped me....not hard..just a get away from me) Today, she looked into my eyes. It was a pleading look. Her back hurt (tonight they change her pain patch)...the nurse looked to see if she could have Tylenol....no, the dr. discontinued it. I now have to request it be reinstated. She ate...a few bites. A little distraction from wanting to lie down. They took her to lie down and change her patch. Tonight is bath night...not a good thing. I think I cannot take it anymore....I must.

Good Days

I just read my last post.. I said that I wanted some good days for her. Thank you, God! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This past week has been AMAZING! She still doesn't know me...BUT she has been content. I love her smiles! I want every day to continue be good for her. I don't want her to get any more UTI's, have any more falls, any more aggressive behavior. It's great to hear..."She's in a good mood." We had her 3 month care conference this week. She weighs 106 lbs.!!! She eats...a little. And....when she's hungry, she wants to eat NOW!

A lady died at the home this past Monday. It took 3 weeks w/o food & water. She was at the Kingsley House when Mom was there....9+ years ago. I just want Mom to not wake up one day....not go through that.