Seriously.....

It's not been a very good last couple of weeks for mom. I was on vacation "upnorth" for a whole week. I didn't have cell phone service...not really...calls could come in & then I'd only hear half of what was said. Sara called that Monday...Mom had bitten a CNA and drew blood. Then...no more communication the rest of the week. I was thinking...oh no..what if they won't keep her there & send her far away to a different facility!!! whew....she didn't, but I did have to sign to have her blood tested. She had a UTI & always has behavior issues with one. They put her on antibiotic but only for 5 days. Three of the late afternoons this week, she has been sleeping in bed when I visited. I've gone a few days at noon...the last couple, she has been unsettled. She fell earlier in the week...the side of her face & down her neck are all black & blue. She has a bump on her head that she says hurts. She won't take her partial out....says she doesn't have one. well, I'm not sticking my fingers in her mouth to get it out!! Sara doesn't know if her behaviors are due to a UTI or the bump to the head. I want some "good" days for her......

It's Been Awhile

I think it's official....Mom doesn't know me! It used to be that one day she didn't but then the next she did. It's been days....no...weeks. I just keep thinking...maybe today she'll know me. I thought she knew me on her birthday last week, because I gave her some bracelets and the next day she said that she got them from Laraine. She just doesn't know that I'm Laraine. How sad. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote that my name was Laraine. She lit all up, smiled and said, "Two Laraines; That's my daughter's name too." I just smiled...and cried inside. When I write on the board, "What is my name?"...she'll make up a name. Most days, she refuses to look at me. Maybe if she could hear, I could talk to her....and explain who I am. Maybe then she'd know me. I wrote on the board today...You are my mother. She didn't understand...she said something that she didn't have two mothers. Well, I'm going to keep telling her who I am. This really stinks. I know that she's in God's hands..in God's plan....I rest in that. I just didn't want it to be like this!